BLOG POST #4 Poetry Benchmark Essay Reflection

       Benchmark Essay 

In the Man with The Saxophone the narrator takes the reader on a brisk journey through the city of New York but does not showcase New York’s characteristic loud side, instead showcases the calming encounter he has with a man playing a saxophone, and how everything he had hoped for on that day coincidentally fall in place once he meets the man with the saxophone . The narrator eloquently transports the reader to New York, and contrasts the scene with what the narrator wishes for and how his desires are met when he meets the ‘Man with the Saxophone’. 

Initially, the narrator introduces New York city at 5 am as ‘empty’, covered with ‘brittle snow’, which coherently resonate with his mental statu, ‘empty’ and wishes to be a ‘bird’, which add to a bugger theme of how the narrator seeks to be peaceful, without being ‘earthbound’. He desires silence  and for it to stay for the rest of the day, without worrying about the characteristic bustling New York.

However, since the narrator is well aware of how that is not a possibility he proceeds, only to realize that what he longer for was given to him once he met the Man with the Saxophone.

As stated” I think  I must be somewhere else, not here, not in this city, this heartland of pure noise.” When the narrator and the Man with the Saxophone melodiously played their instruments together, ‘it struck a chord in the narrator’s heart and he felt connected, at a deeper level, a level so deep that it left the narrator content and steady.

Additionally , the narrator is not only left content and astonished  after harmoniously playing with the man , but also refers to his other desire of being a bird, and states “I'm the unencumbered bird of my imagination.” He expresses his deep connections with the man and their instruments, embodying his gratitude for having met the man and finding peace through the connection they made upon playing their instruments together. 

                                                           Reflection 

I was tasked to write an essay upon reading the poem A man with a saxophone by Ai and analyze his use of literary elements and techniques that convey the complexity of the speaker’s encounter with the saxophone player at that particular time and place. 

I expect to earn a 1-2-1 on the essay I wrote. As, my essay presented a defensible thesis statement, provided some relevant evidence, and consistently employed a style that was vivid and persuasive. 

I hoped to earn a 1 for the thesis statement because the thesis presented, offered a defensible interpretation of the encounter the speaker had with the saxophone player. For instance, I offered an interpretation that explored the speaker’s desires and how his encounter with the man with the saxophone coincidentally fulfilled his desires.

I hoped to earn a 2 for the evidence I provided because most of the evidence was specific and relevant but there was no progression as can be seen when I introduce the idea that the speaker hopes for something before meeting the man with the saxophone, but I fail to elaborate on what he hopes for. However, most of the evidence presented is specific and consistently draws connections between the speaker’s word choice in relation to the bigger thematic statement of his longing for peace. 

I expect to earn a 1 for sophistication as I consistently employ a style that is vivid and persuasive, as can be seen when I directly quote from the poem to elaborate on the atmosphere the speaker is in and connect that to his desires and encounter. 

I noticed similarities between the reflection of this essay and the embrace your complexity powerpoint in that we were required to create a piece that encapsulated a variety of information but at the same time had a logical flow that harmoniously blended the different aspects of the work. For example: In the embrace your complexity power point presentation, we were tasked to use two adjectives to describe ourselves, all while considering the pictures, choice of colors, font size, font design, and other digital elements which all coherently showcased a more intense meaning to the slides used to describe ourselves, likewise, in the reflection of this essay, we were required to develop a line of reasoning that gradually accumulated information to ultimately exhibit a more profound meaning of the thesis statement, backed up by the evidence provided throughout the essay.

From this reflection, I have a clearer understanding of what is expected of me from a Poetry Essay and how I must make notes of the minute details present in the poems that add to a bigger thematic statement, as well as make sure that I clearly understand the meaning of these minute aspects before jumping into writing of the essay because this is vital to being able to articulate clearly and at a steadier and smoother pace with a logical and well written flow of words. 

BLOG POST #3 Prose Short Fiction Benchmark Essay Reflection

  Benchmark Essay

The playful excerpt from Tim Winton’s novel Breathe, captures the notorious childhood memory of a young boy recollecting the joyful encounter he had with a friend, Ivan Loonie. Tim Winton captures the significance of the riverbank incident and his coincidental meeting with Ivan Loonie, who seemed to never have even “the remotest thing in common” with the narrator’s caricature of each character’s emotions, settings, and suspenseful start coherently add to the warm and spontaneous scene along with providing a reflection of the situation that unfolded.

The introduction to Ivan Loonie is presented in a somewhat mysterious way, with eerie commentary of how “there was a crisis”, and how a woman was screaming that there was a boy in the water.” Here, the narrator builds suspense and takes the reader route of believing that the boy might have drowned and died. Conversely, the next few lines indicate that this was a “prank” . 

When the boy bolted towards rescuing Ivan Loonie the anxiety building up in him, skeptical thoughts and complete fear of the unknown subconsciously lurk in the author, which all add to the suspenseful scene. 

However, once the boy realizes that Ivan Loonie was ultimately trying to prank the women at the pool, the words used resonate with the feeling expressed and experienced by each of the characters. 

Ultimately, the author, astonished by the situation realizes that “it was more fun to pull this prank than '' stand by while some else did it. The author experiences a character shift from a playful young lad to a more self conscious boy that felt “guilt” over “glee”.

While this encounter marked the characters’ commencement of a  new friendship, “also conveys realization the author made after finding himself in the sticky “riverside panic” situation. 

Reflection 

I was tasked to read an excerpt from Tim Winton’s novel, Breathe and analyze Winton’s use of literary elements and techniques that represent the complex response of the narrator to the incident at the riverbank. 

I hoped to receive a 0-1-0  on the essay I wrote. As my essay as a whole lacked the logical comprehension of the excerpt and as a result, I misinterpreted what the prompt was asking for and could not cohesively link the thesis statement to the rest of the essay.

I expected to earn a 0 for the thesis statement because the thesis presented is weak and provides a summary of the issue without any apparent claim. As is evident when I describe how the scene was ‘joyful’, which is the polar opposite of what is present there. I made a very vague analysis of the excerpt and thereby framed a broken thesis statement.

I expected to earn a 1 for the evidence and commentary because most of the evidence I presented was irrelevant to the prompt and was branched off of a feeble thesis statement.

The evidence lacked reference to the prompt and was a melting pot of unrelated material and commentary. However, the 1 point was for the specific evidence I offered on the character shift the narrator experienced, and that coherently linked that to the evidence from the text. 

I also loosely made references to literary elements, devices and techniques used but offer little evidence on the reasoning behind their usage.

I expected to earn a 0 for the sophistication because instead of exploring the tensions and complexities of the piece, and relating them to the broader context, I have made sweeping generalizations and the piece lacked complexity or deeper analysis of any sort. 

I noticed similarities between the reflection of this essay to the song analysis in that in both of the cases we were tasked to analyze a piece of work, make inferences about the deeper meaning behind the works and articulate that clearly in a well written manner. For example: In the individual song analysis, we were required to make  border observations on the song, investigate the deeper meaning the song encapsulated and articulate that clearly, likewise, the reflection of this essay, was similar in that we were tasked to analyze our mistakes and figure out the deeper meaning behind the requirements of the prompt and the mistakes that we made due to the our faulty understanding of the prompt. 

From this reflection, I recognized the gravity of my current situation, in terms of writing an essay after analyzing a piece of work and was able to gain a clearer understanding of the weak articulation I made, how I can work towards improving my writing skills, and frame a more concise, eloquent thesis. Right off the bat, I observed my improper understanding of the prompt, a faulty thesis statement, loose evidence, shallow reasoning, and lack of sophistication. When I loosely analyzed the excerpt, and consequently framed a thesis statement that lacked any understanding of the prompt, where I instead vaguely discussed the devices used without logically connecting their usage to the essay, which followed a weak essay. The reflection allowed me to gain a more critical understanding of my essay and has liberated me towards picking up the minute details in the text, making broader connections, and understanding the conflicts by articulating them clearly onto paper.

BLOG POST #2 Literary Argument Benchmark Essay Reflection

 

      Benchmark Essay

Familiarity, a feeling of unity, of oneness with the world, the people, the environment around is what every living soul seeks, be it at their workplaces, schools. Colleges, etc, what every living being innately desires is being a part of a connected atmosphere, a community. So is the case in The Alchemist, where the shepherd boy is trapped in his utopic life of stargazing every night while his flock of sheep grazed over the expansive, lush grass that grew atop a hill, but also craved for s for something he subconsciously lacked, and seeked to escape his seemingly perfect life for a higher meaning.

Even Though, the boy lived a life of ease and comfort, in the beautiful pastures of Spain, and felt oneness with his flock of sheep, the mountains, and starry-summer nights, he desired to break free from the shackles of this utopic lifestyle he led. 

The boy awaits for his moment, and receives his answer when he is approached by a king who tells him that there is deeper meaning to his life, and me must seek it to attain self fulfillment, The boy who was eagerly waiting for a sign of some sort believes that this is his calling, his calling for a higher purpose in life and leaves almost instantaneously. 

Once he leaves to the neighboring country, he, just as any human would, misses home. A place where he led a life of simplicity at its best. Months pass by and he is on his mission to fulfill his potential, to discover his higher meaning in life. Afterwhich, he ends up becoming enlightened of his past, present and how he will lead his future.

He realized the deeper reaching for his departure from the perfect life. That home was not the destination, but a layover that he had to face and ‘fuel up’ on for the journey that lay ahead of him. It was like an oasis, that supplemented his growth and led him to meet the King, without whom he wouldn’t be where he was  months later, an enlightened person, with a purpose in life. The Thrill he experienced while stargazing was the Universe he subconsciously desired to know more of, was his sign, the sign that the Universe was listening to him and that he must look beyond the horizon, he called a place of comfort, and discover his purpose in the all-land covering sky that stretched way beyond his humble quarters.

REFLECTION & ONE-ON-ONE HANDOUT

DIRECTIONS: Using your understanding of the scoring guide, score your essay and write a reflection using the following template.

PART 1: SCORE YOUR ESSAY 

1. Use the language of the scoring guide to help you determine this score.

2. Use evidence from your essay to reinforce this score. 

• 1-point for thesis because a defensible claim is made and branches into the “higher meaning” of life expressed through his “trapping”  home. 

• 2-points because the analysis of the meaning of home in the book and the overarching concept of the home is discussed, but does not provide an in-depth analysis of the same, instead it merely touches on the surface of the topic and has not “stretched” beyond the boundaries of simple writing; the essay is a “comfort zone” essay that has kept writing safe and risk-free.

• 0-point for sophistication because even though there is a certain degree of sophistication in the essay, it fails to go“beyond the horizon” and makes use of “restrained” writing, within the “humble quarters” of simple diction and seemingly absent rhetoric. 

PART 2: WRITE A REFLECTION & POST TO YOUR BLOG. USE THIS TEMPLATE. 

DESCRIPTION CCSS.ELA-Literacy.W.11-12.3.d What were you asked to do?  What is being examined?	EXAMPLE:I was asked to write an essay in which I analyzed the symbolic importance of houses and cite evidence from the work of fiction I chose to write about,  and how the meaning of the house adds to the deeper meaning in the book.   I was evaluated on how well I understood the prompt and was expected to clearly articulate the house and its deeper meaning, with evidence backing my defensible thesis, clearly expressing the symbolisms involved around the house, and making use of sophisticated language and skills of writing.
SCORES CCSS.ELA-Literacy.SL.11-12.4  What score did you give yourself? Why? Use the language of the rubric or scoring guide.	I anticipated that I would earn a 1-2-0 because I did provide a defensible thesis, but the following paragraphs did not have an adequate amount of evidence to support the thesis. Though, I was able to analyze and interpret the symbolisms and provide evidence, parts of the essay contained “ irrelavant information” as indicated by “Even Though the boy lived a life of ease and comfort in the beautiful pastures of Spain, and felt oneness with his flock of sheep, the mountains, the starry nights, he desired to break free from the shackles of this utopic life he led.” This is “irrelevant” because these sentences focus on the character versus the symbolism of home.
INTERPRETATION CCSS.ELA-Literacy.SL.11-12.1.c & CCSS.ELA-Literacy.SL.11-12.1.a (Knowledge of scoring guide, sample essays, scoring commentary) How is it similar to and different from other tasks or assessments that we have completed in class?	This essay task was similar to evaluating texts of other students and learning from their mistakes , but in this case our own essays, hence our own mistakes. And we focused on developing a higher level of understanding our current situation and familiarizing ourselves with writing and how we can learn from our texts to become better writers.     This is different from other tasks that we have completed in class because we were required to evaluate our own writing skills and interpret our scores, writing and enlighten ourselves of the skills required to write better.
OUTCOME CCSS.ELA-Literacy.SL.11-12.1.c What have I learned from this about my skill levels at this point? ? What do I need to do to improve my performance on future tasks?	I have understood that my writing needs more fine tuning and has the capacity to get better. I believe that I need to focus more on sophistication, crossing the confines of restricted writing, elaborating on simple concepts with ease, understanding an articulating deeper meaning in texts and ultimately being able to discuss these concepts in an essay with ease.

Adapted from Hampton, M. (2014). Reflective writing: a basic introduction. University of Portsmouth.

Blog Post #1 Embrace Your Complexity PPT